Intro: C G A Am G F G Verse: Am F C G The books you think I wrote are way too thick Am F C Who needs a thousand metaphors to figure out G you shouldnʼt be a dick Am F C G And I donʼt watch you when you sleep Am F C Em F Surprisingly I donʼt use my own omnipotence to be a fucking creep Chorus: Am G F Youʼre not going to heaven Am G F Why the fuck did you think Iʼd ever kick it with you Am G None of you are going to heaven F Am G F Thereʼs a trillion aliens cooler than you F F F F F F Bridge: Am G Am You shouldnʼt abstain from rape just because G F you think that I want you to F F F F F F Am G C You shouldnʼt rape because rape is a fucked up thing to do C G Am G F G through him speaking: (Itʼs pretty obvious just donʼt fucking rape people I didnʼt think I had to write that one down for you.) Verse: Am F C G I donʼt think masturbation is obscene Am F C Itʼs absolutely natural and the weirdest fucking thing G Am Iʼve ever seen F C G You make my job a living hell Am F C I sent gays to fix overpopulation G F Didnʼt that go well Chorus: Am G F Youʼre not going to heaven Am G F Eat a thousand crackers sing a million hymns Am G F None of you are going to heaven Am G F Youʼre not my children youʼre a bad game of sims F F F F F F Bridge: Am G Am You shouldnʼt abstain from pork because you think G F that I want you to F F F F F F Am G C You can eat pork because why the fuck would I give a shit C G Am G F G through him speaking: (I created the universe you think Iʼm drawing the line at the fucking deli aisle?) Verse: Am F C G You argue and you bicker and you fight Am F C G Am Atheists and Catholics, Jews and Hindus argue day and night F C G Over what they think is true Am F C But no one entertains the thought that maybe god G F does not believe in you Chorus: Am G F You pray so badly for heaven Am G F knowing any day may be the day that you die Am G F But maybe life on earth could be heaven Am G F Doesnʼt just the thought of it make it worth a try F F F F F F F C F G My loveʼs the type of thing that you have to earn C F C G And when you earn it you wonʼt need it Am G Am G F Iʼm not gonna give love just cause I know that you want me to Am G C If you want love then the love is gonna come from you
